To be(er) or not to be(er)

I have issues.

No not children.

Not magazine subscriptions either.

Mental problems if you will. I need to fill my days with a plan (which I probably will not see through).

Today was a very random day and I needed a plan.

No not for the day, for life (remember I have issues and also things to do before I turn 30).

So on my uncomfortable chair I sat, contemplating life- what to do with it, about it etc.

This whole spending-the-day-working-for-money is just not for me (I am a freelancer so work is what I decide to do and of late I have been deciding not to).

I hate waking up to unfinished articles, looming deadlines and long meetings. And I get so busy focussing all my energies on said work I don’t have the time to do what I really want to do.

Win the Booker for one. Although a friend suggested I should probably settle for getting a book published. But what’s the point of writing a book if you’re not gonna win a prize?

So my new thing is to try and find my Zen place.

No it’s not a potted plant.

It’s just a happier state of mind. Where the sun is shining, the birds are chirping, there’s a champagne fountain at hand and all is right with the world. It’s a place of peace and sanguinity.

Right now I am resting in a happy place. Sure, it often comes out of a little green bottle, but I’ll take what I can get.

So in my attempt to achieve Buddha-esque peace and goodness I have come up with an eight-fold path (it’s a euphemism for ‘I got another long list’).

Okay so the language is a little bit 10 Commandments meet Shakespeare, so bear with me.
1. Thou shall not be judgmental (no matter how badly she is dressed, how incorrectly he pronounces meringue and how slowly that arthritic old lady is hobbling in front of you)
2. Thou will not spend hard-earned money on cosmetics (detachment, getting rid of ego etc. unless Sephora comes to Madras...then all bets are off. PS: also it’s alright if there’s a sale)
3. Thou shall not envy others (unless he/she is a writer who lives in a castle in Europe *curses*)
4. Thou shall not curse (unless the *&#@! has a friggin’ summer house in the South of France and travels around the world...business effing class)
5. Thou shall be kind to children and not judge them...even snotty-nosed brats
6. Thou will not procrastinate (err...I’ll come back to this later)
7. Thou shall donate to charity/less fortunate/underprivileged (I am all of those, somebody who wants to reach their Zen place, please contribute)
8. Thou shall learn patience ... well since I made through the eight points, I guess I am already there.

If this divine, much thought over path is not for you, there is a one-step path to the Zen wonderland:
1. Down a crate of beer

The one-step path will also work with other intoxicating beverages that get you spiritual. Prozac might also work.

Okay so am going to start working on reaching my Zen place.

Which path to take though?

Cheers!